Friday, March 30, 2012

I Hate Andie MacDowell

I want to throw a brick at my television every time I see Andie MacDowell's face. I hate her. But I love my TV, so I keep my bricks for when I finally get a chance to see her in real life.

Why do you have Ms. MacDowell so much, chaz? She's never done anything to you!

No she hasn't, but that doesn't mean I don't have reasons to hate her. Just writing about her makes me want to punch something. She's so friggin' annoying. And she's a terrible actor. Have you seen her in "Hudson Hawk" or "Groundhog Day" or "Michael"? OH. MY. GOD. It's like she's searching for the right emotion the entire time or talking to a little child. Why would anyone cast her in a speaking role? And "Green Card"? UGH. Put her together with GĂ©rard Depardieu and that's just recipe for disaster. But the true reason I hate Andie MacDowell is because of the role she played in "St. Elmo's Fire."


And for that I will never forgive her. Ever.

Emilio's character, Kirby, is in love with her character Dale. He is infatuated by her. She is his everything. She agrees to go to dinner with him and he even gets to the restaurant early to make sure everything is perfect for the date. But she gets called away to the hospital she works at. Sure she was. I bet that was just an excuse. A few days later he follows her IN THE RAIN to a party and professes his love to her. She could have easily shot him down at that point, but she doesn't. Or she doesn't do a very good job of it. She just makes him believe that if he makes more money she'll go out with him. Kirby throws a party at his new boss's house to impress Dale but she vanishes almost as soon as she gets there. When he finally tracks her down her boyfriend answers the door. HER BOYFRIEND. She had a boyfriend this whole time?? And she didn't feel the need to mention this to poor ol' Kirby? What. A. Bitch.

So you can understand my frustration now, right? She's evil. Just look at her:

My skin just crawls looking at her. Eww.


  1. Ok, Chaz. Maybe she's not the best actor in the world, but "hate"? Gotta disagree. I think she's damn cute! In fact, my wife thinks I have some sort of crush on her, and she's right. Hell, I know she loves Legolas, so there's really no harm if we have an honest relationship, but I digress.

    I think Hudson Hawk is really a bad example of her abilities because that movie sucked ballz, and no cast member was going to save it; they all sucked! But I'm a fan of Groundhog Day; it was funny, and again she was cute in it. Yea, not an Oscar winning performance, but it's just a harmless comedy. And I'm surprised you don't like that movie, Pennsyltucky boy!

    I think her abilities are best reflected in Four Weddings and a Funeral and Sex, Lies, and Videotape. Both great movies with her making significant contributions acting/comedy-wise, and again, she's cute and hot in both.

    Your whole St. Elmo's rant shows, to me, your sympathetic relationship with the characters, maybe over-empathetic, and consequently, that she quite successfully fulfilled her role as an actor: the achievement of a complete and utter emotional involvement in the action by you, the audience. Or, maybe you have some adolescent, unrequited love issues that are triggered through the identification with the Dale character that are surfacing, and you're dealing with them by acting out against this innocent, attractive actor. Your conflated emotional and psychological conflict is further exemplified by the fact that you seem to really be lashing out at her character in the story, not the beautiful real person, Ms. MacDowell. And then there's also the possibility that you are repressing these amorous feelings from the past because you really don't want to admit that she reminds you of a past infatuation, or that you, too, find her sexually stimulating: "Methinks thou doth protest too much!" Do I need to reiterate that she's good-looking? What. A. Hottie.

    Hey, this was fun! Love your writing. Good stuff! Baltimore beat the Yanks again for the 2nd time in Spring Training (gotta take 'em when I can because I know I'll be weeping in my cap & mitt soon). Can't wait to see another ball game at Camden Yards.


  2. I guess her beauty alludes me. Maybe because she's such a horrible person. No one would play such a horrible villain like Dale unless they were evil in real life. As for my emotional and psychological conflicts, I think maybe her character hit home in the Lying Female category.

    I would LOVE "Groundhog Day" if Ms. MacDowell wasn't in it. Especially since it takes place in Punxsutawney. Some of my family lives there.

    But seriously? A "hottie"? I don't see it. Her voice is annoying and... well, I don't want to get personal. I don't know the woman. But I do dislike her very much.

    I appreciate the compliment on my writings... feel free to check out if you want to read some of my fiction ramblings.