One Month To Go

The year is coming to a close quite rapidly so I'm again re-evaluating this blog. Am I doing what I set out to do at the beginning of the year? Am I a better person because of the work that I've put into this blog? Am I happier? Am I sadder? To be honest, I have no idea.

I don't get many comments on my blog posts, but that's not really the point of all this, is it? Not to me it isn't. I'm not trying to sell jewelry or advertise a concert. This blog isn't based on foot traffic. Maybe it should be, but it's not. I set out to write more, and that's exactly what I've done. This is my 130th post this year. That means that I've blogged once every two and a half days, approximately. Compared to last year, that's pretty awesome, I have to say.

I blog about all kinds of stuff. Memories, the 90s, music, childhood memories, the 90s, my favorite bar, and sometimes a combination of a few of these. And sometimes I write about nothing at all. And other times I am super serious. Other times I'm funny, but I never realize I'm funny until people start laughing. And with a blog, well, I can't really hear the laughs. I just hope that I get a smile or two out of the small handful of readers I have. Or a reaction of some kind. Hell, I don't care if the reaction is crying or screaming or punching a baby. I just hope the words I write do something to someone out there.

Not that I'm doing this for everyone else. I'm doing this for me. For growth. For purpose. For... release. I swear to God I have no idea what shape I'd be in right now, the day before the last month of 2011, if it wasn't for this blog. I tend to rant a lot on this platform I've built for myself. And I think that's okay. I think a bit of ranting and venting is healthy. It's better than bottling it all up. Like I said, I don't know what kind of shape I would be in right now if I hadn't picked up this blogging thing.

Maybe I'd be dead.

Probably not, but I'd probably wish I was. Or everyone around me might wish that I was.

I'm Adapting

If you don't know me, there's something you should understand about me: I'm really not good at relying on people.

Strike that.

I am HORRIBLE when it comes to relying on people. Included in "people" is of course family and friends and also The Blue Lady, my car.
One of the reasons I moved from production to writing in film school is because I didn't need to count on actors and a crew to show up when I was scriptwriting.

That being said, I am starting to fix myself when it comes asking for help from friends and family. My car is giving me problems this week. Usually I would pray and cross my fingers and spit & spin around three times hoping to throw off the bad juju. Usually I would try to get The Blue Lady to make it through the week so I could take her to the shop on my day off. But that approach usually ended me up on the side of the road or out more money than I needed to be out.

I'm trying to change, 2011. I'm trying REAL hard. I'm not going to change over night, but I am starting to...
begining with asking for help. And relying on friends and family.


But keep your fingers crossed just in case.

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