Monday, April 4, 2011

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Things have got to change.

I'm big and fat and lazy and I hate myself.

I wish I could go back in time and sweep the leg of my teenaged self.

"I don't see what's wrong with being a big, hairy mammal."

And while the hairy part never happened (THANK GOD!), the big part did. I thought it would be cool to have a beer gut. What was wrong with me??

Thankfully I am only overweight in my gut (you can't tell I'm fat from behind, especially since I have no ass), I'm still fat. And it makes me lazy. And I hate it.

I wake up wanting to go for a walk or run or to the gym, but then I sit on the couch and it's all over. I hate myself. If I was forty pounds lighter, I would have all kinds of energy to keep the weight off. If I had the money I would hire a personal trainer to fix me and yell at me and motivate me.

Maybe I'm destined to be big and lazy.

But I hate it.
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