Sunday, April 24, 2011

Change is Good

A few blog posts ago I wrote about how most everything in my hometown has changed other than my parents' house.

I said: "When I was growing up I hated Niagara Falls, but I also believed it would always be there for me if things got tough in the real world. I mean, I don't think I really thought about it like I am now, but... I swear to God the only thing that hasn't changed is my parents' living room and kitchen. So I guess I still have that comfort when I need it."

But that is all about to change.
My parents are taking the leap and moving.

It's not really a leap. They've been spending the winter down south for the past few years and before that, they spent about a month every spring there. Needless to say, we all saw this coming.

But just because you're anticipating something doesn't mean it can't still surprise you, right?


Should I be sad that my parents are moving all the way across the country?
Should I be upset that they will no longer be a short drive away?
Should I be depressed that the house that once comforted me will be giving someone new comfort?

Part of me thinks that I should feel this way, but I don't.
Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe I'm happy for them. Maybe this is just the kick in the arse that I need to change my own situation. I look to the future and I can not see a time when I can be retired or comfortable or on vacation without worrying about bills or money or responsibilities. My dad worked for thirty years in a place that at first was just a place that would pay the bills. Then he slowly moved up the ranks and was able to retire with a comfy nest egg. I have no nest egg. I have no nest. I don't even have anything to create the egg to put in said nest. How depressing.

How upsetting.
How sad.

Maybe this is my problem. Maybe I need to find a job that will pay the bills, not a job that will make me happy. Maybe I need to work in a factory or in the food service industry or back in retail so that I won't worry about those bills hanging over my head.

Change could be a good thing. I'll be happy when I don't have any money troubles, right?


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