Now that the April showers are done (although they occurred through the entire month of May-- I think Mother Nature is a month behind this year), it's time to enjoy Springtime. It's warm and sunny and there's just enough of a breeze to fight off the slight humidity in the air. It's the best time of the year in Western New York, in my opinion. It's not cold and snowy or rainy, it's not so thick outside that you can't breathe. It's like Goldilocks out there-- just right!
There is one thing that hits me every spring. And to be honest I really feel guilty about it. I'm in a great relationship. Have been for over ten years. But every spring I miss the excitement of a new relationship. You know what I mean: Meeting someone new and exploring their brains, their likes and dislikes. Talking for hours and hours with them. Figuring out all their habits. Trying to figure out their scent. Sharing everything with them. Showing them all of your oddities to see if they'll stick around.
Isn't that just the best thing ever?
Of course when I was in high school, I took it further. I wrote long love letters, most of which were plagiarized from favorite song lyrics, and I would stand outside their house waiting for them to come home or leave to go somewhere. It sounds slightly stalker-like, now that I think about it.
What are you talking about slightly stalker-like, chaz??
I would also make mix-tapes. I was awesome at making mix tapes. Nick Hornby has a great quote in High Fidelity about mix-tapes, and the first time I read it, I was like, "Oh my God, yes!" Here's the quote:
"A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You've got to kick off with a killer, to grab the attention. Then you've got to take it up a notch, or cool it off a notch…oh, there are a lot of rules."
Am I right? Well, maybe you weren't as obsessed with creating mix-tapes as I was. I would make a draft of the playlist before I even started recording them. I needed them to be perfect. I needed them to express exactly how I felt. I wanted the person I was giving the tape to to be blown away. I imagined them driving around or hanging out in their room listening to the tape over and over again just falling deeper and deeper in love with me. I'm sure that never happened, but still. A boy can dream.
I don't make mix-tapes anymore. I don't think I even have a dual tape deck that works anymore. I guess I could make a mix-CD, but it's not the same. There's no emotion in making a CD. And people don't write letters anymore. They send texts or emails. And it's so easy to get caught plagiarizing song lyrics now. Kids today don't know how great they DON'T have it. Technology has ruined everything good in the world.
Here I am talking about spring and new relationships and I go off on a technology is bad tangent. Where was I?
I always fell for girls so quickly. I was too generous with the word "love." I became infatuated with them. I wanted to spend every waking moment with them. And soon, usually before summer arrived, I was single again. Too much too quick. I can't tell you how many times I got the "I really like you a lot chaz, but not as much as you seem to like me. I think we need to take a break" speech. Too many times to remember. No, that's not right. I remember them all, but I'd just rather not remember them. I have notebooks filled with all of these memories. I get heart-broken all over again when I think of all the girls I've been dumped by.
But I still love spring.