Friday, February 4, 2011

NF, NY: Never Fun, New York

I get quite perturbed when someone who has only visited somewhere complains about it. I give a little leeway to someone who has lived in said place for a little while, but not much.

That being said, I am going to complain about Niagara Falls, NY. I grew up there and lived there for over half of my life, so I'm allowed to point out the negative aspects.

There really is not very much to do in NF, NY. Unless you drink. There are a TON of bars in The Falls, but most of them are holes-in-the-wall. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but unless you're from the neighborhood the bar is in, you're going to get looks & stares for the first few times you drink there.

Contrary to popular belief, there are not ANY malls in Niagara Falls. Not any open ones. There used to be one (Rainbow Mall), but it has closed years ago. Up until a few years ago there wasn't a movie theater in NF either. Except for the porn theater on Pine Ave. And I'm still not 100% sure the Builder's Square Regal is in Niagara Falls proper.

The only coffee shop is a Starbucks inside the Crowne Plaza hotel in downtown. Unless by "coffee shop" you mean a diner. Then there's a ton. And you can play Quik-Draw. And eat Freedom Fries.

It's no wonder there's tumble weeds and coyotes in the field behind the high school. It's like survival of the fittest walking home. Any stragglers usually get picked off and either made into a meal or raised by the coyotes.
(That's a joke, but barely.)

If you don't leave The Falls after graduation, you end up working in a factory or as a bartender or an employee of Piercing Pagoda at the Niagara Outlet Mall (which is in Town of Niagara, not NF).

Or you end up with a kid you can't afford. Or two.

If you want to live comforably in NF, you either have to work a job that makes you unhappy and slowly fills your prostate with tumors or you gave to GET THE HELL OUT and get an education then come back and live in NF but work somewhere else.

Oh, I forgot about the casino. The Seneca Niagara Casino. The city sold the land to the natives, so it's technically sovereign land and not even considered in USA, let alone NF, NY.
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