Can't Get Up From Falling Down

Maybe it's because I've been listening to so much Tom Waits. Maybe it's because I wouldn't have any luck at all if it wasn't for all this bad luck I have. But suffice it to say, I've been down so long, it looks like up to me (to steal a infamous blues line).

Or at least it feels that way.

Sometimes I exaggerate.

All my readers and friends and family know I had a rough go of it lately. I lost my teaching job this summer. And try as I might, there wasn't ANYBODY out there willing to give me another shot. Finally, by mid-autumn, I was hired as a per diem substitute teacher. But it wasn't full time and the pay was NOT cutting it. So on the days I wasn't called to work, I continued to look for work. And then I was hired at a local community college. And I was thrilled!

A few days into my first week I was informed that I was hired as a part-time instructor on an "as we need you" basis. The pay is great but it's stressful not knowing if I will work from one three week contract to the next.

And then my car started acting up.

First it was the fuel filter. Then the alternator. Then the ignition coil pack. Whatever the hell that is.

And now my breaks are squeaking and grinding (slightly).

I can't win!

I guess I should be happy my car waited to start acting up until AFTER there was money coming in, but still. I'd love it if I could get over the hump. If I could get back on my feet.

I just want to give up.
Sometimes I hope someone cuts me off while I'm driving home and totals my car. I actually (not so) secretly wish for my car to get stolen, but the thief would just leave my car abandoned about 100 feet from where they got it from.

I just can't win.

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